I mean really... who could resist these beautiful eyes eh?
Well, yesterday it seems I could. I was snappy, grumpy, and shouted at both boys more than I should have.
See, I realised on friday morning I ran out of my anti depressants (citalopram if you're nosey like me!). I called the doctor to see if there was any way they could get the prescription sorted that day, but they were backed up.
Ok, so I'd be without my meds till monday. I knew I'd start to feel a bit narky by then, but I know it's not life-threatening, and I know that it's just for a short while.
On saturday, I got to spend the day with one of my fave bloggy friends, Nikkii, as we were going to an RPS event to be "observers" and see other people get their work critiqued. Not to mention knowing that we'd be close to a Jessops and I knew I had enough money to get my long-awaited Nikon D90!
I noticed I was chattering away more loudly than I normally would in the car with my dad who was dropping me off, but I just put it down to the excitement of a child-free day. My lovely friends were looking after the boys all day (not one SINGLE meltdown for Max... SUCCESS!!), so I knew they were in good hands, and wasn't worrying about them. :)
By Sunday I was in full on grumpy bitch mode though. Every little bang of toys on the floor, or Zack jumping about (how many times do I have to tell him *NOT* to climb all over the furniture!) and I was snapping and shouting.
I apologised to him as I tucked him up into bed (early, thank god!), saying I was sorry for being such a grumpy mum all day. He asked if I was sorry for shouting at him too. *sigh* I said yes, and he decided that he would forgive me. He then proceeded to turn his head funny and said "I love you upside down Mum!", and grinned.
I took two of my pills on monday morning to get a kick-start of it back in my system, and I'm already feeling much better.
Needless to say I've now set up an alert in my calendar to remind me to call up a week in advance so this doesn't happen again!
Just goes to show, even though I feel absolutely *fine* when I'm on my meds, it doesn't mean I'm "cured". It's a biological thing after all (I could go into all the pharmacological details, but I won't bore you with them). Just like taking medication for high blood pressure. I would never skip something like that if I had to be on it, so I really need to be more vigilant with my meds.
I think these days I know more people *on* meds for various depression/stress/anxiety related reasons than I do people who don't!
Have any of you had similar experiences?
(am using this photo as my 365 for the day...)