SoftThistle Life

The Ignorance of Strangers

Autism, LifeMarylin12 Comments

Max doesn't like waiting at the school gates for Zack to go in, or come out of, school.

When I say he doesn't like it, I mean the moment we get to the area we have to wait around in, he starts screaming, and headbutting me in the groin (just the right height, damnit!), and trying to pull me down the hill towards the nursery.

He's so desperate to be in nursery. He adores it so much.

Thing is, there are two bells before the kids go into school in the mornings, and the kids go in at 9.10am. Then we have to wait 5 min before going into nursery, so he misses the group time at the start.

This morning I decided to let him walk. It takes a bit longer, and the way back after collecting him is... difficult.

I got to the school gates, gave Zack a hug, and off he went to find his friends.

Cue Max's screaming.

And headbutting.

And more screaming.

Many of the mums know us and understand that Max has autism, though they may not understand exactly what that entails. They just smile and chat to me. There's no point in me trying to tell him to stop, that we're going to nursery soon, or attempting to soothe him. It just doesn't work. Ignoring him is the best way. Keeping an eye on him obviously, but ignoring the behaviour.

Today there was a dad waiting at the gates.

Not one I recognised, but then there are a lot of parents who wait around till they know their kids are in safe and sound!

He was watching Max.

I caught a glimpse of the slight shake of his head. He couldn't stop watching Max having his meltdown though.

I turned to my friend and said something along the lines of "ahh lovely, cue the looks from people who are thinking I'm a bad mother for "letting" Max act this way". I think he heard. He looked the other way.

After the kids had gone inside, and some of the parents had left, Max started to calm down.

He was playing with my coat.

I said "good waiting Max, well done!", and we walked down to nursery.

I barely got a look in when he saw the nursery.

I asked him to "say bye bye!", and he waved his hands, said "pwees" for me to open the door, and toddled in happily for another morning in nursery.