SoftThistle Life

Sometimes autism is just plain HARD.

Autism, LifeMarylinComment

Really hard. 

Frustratingly, exhaustingly HARD.

The Easter holidays are NOT going well in the Softthistle household. 

Max is absolutely hating taking no for an answer. 

My normally happy lil guy has become so fractious that it's getting harder and harder to live with him at the moment. 

Thank feck for the following:

My mum and dad, who are there to talk to whenever I need it. Not to mention the hugs, and trips to KFC where my wee man can enjoy his popcorn chicken and go in a trance while we're in the car.

My friends who insist I go to their's any time Max is getting too much. Or come over to help out. Or insist on taking Max for a day and night next week so Zack and I can have a break (Sharon, I love youuuu!!! xxx).

The autism community online who are there with knowing messages of support and hints and tips. 

Rescue Remedy for keeping me from going completely round the bend. 

Melatonin that makes getting Max into bed at night so so much easier.

My Zackie boy who is the most understanding of his mum needing some quiet time once his wee brother is in bed and happily takes the iPad upstairs to play quietly on it in my room till his bedtime, not to mention the jokes he cracks, and the cuddles he gives me when he knows I need it. 

Kenzi my wee puppy girl who loves nothing more than snuggling up with me at the end of the day.

The cats who are endless sources of amusement when it comes to watching them interact with wee Kenzi (there's no escape now Kenzi's conquered the stairs!).

Did I mention my family and friends? 

----

This is the hardest holiday we've had so far. 

We're only one week into it and I've been at the point of tearing my hair out so many times already. 

Max is melting down many times daily.

He's always at me, wanting me to get him things he knows he can't have, and then lashing out at me in anger and frustration. He just won't let things go. 

Not to mention the 3/4am wake ups.

It gets to about 3pm and I find my self nearly shaking in my boots (well, trainers) that I've still got four hours to go. 

I've taken to hiding in the loo just to get a bit of peace as it's the only room in the house he refuses point blank to go into. Unless he's being dragged in for a bath or shower. 

Their dad couldn't get time off to have the boys this holiday, so I've not got that bit of time to look forward to for a break.

----

I don't think people realise how hard I find it sometimes. 

I'm generally really positive. 

And normally, life goes ok, all things considered. 

But holidays. 

Max out of his routine. 

Not being able to get a break at all?

That's f'ing hard.

Ten days to go till he's back to his nursery routine. 

I don't even want to think about how I'm going to cope over the summer holidays, except I know the boys will go to their dad's for a week then, so I know I'll have a break at some point. 

If only respite was easier to come by. 

Max is on the Child Health Team's list for an assessment for it, but they're so stowed out with people that it'll take months before he's allocated a social worker, and then no doubt it'll be a battle to get any respite whatsoever, if at all.

Best to try not to think about that bridge till it's time to cross it though, eh? 

----

So yeah, basically life is pretty hard right now, Max is being very difficult, and I need copious amounts of chocolate sent, mkay? 

#autismsucks