SoftThistle Life

The things I try not to think about...

Autism, LifeMarylin32 Comments

max at the park

I've been trying *not* to think about this since Max's diagnosis, but it keeps popping up where it's not wanted, so I figure maybe writing it out might help.

The thing is.

With autism.

Although Max is progressing *really* well.

(and when I really think of how much he's come on in the last year, it's just *amazing*!)

I can't help but wonder...

what will he be like when he's legally an adult?

What about when he hits puberty, and his hormones run riot?

Will I be able to take care of him?

Will he be with me for the rest of my life?

Will I have a toddler boy forever?

What if I can't cope?

What then?

I don't really like to think about it, funnily enough.

But it's there in the back of my head.

Prodding at my conscious.

Reminding me of the huge uncertainty of having a child with special needs.

*****

My mum always says to remember to look at the big picture.

But I think, for this one, perhaps it's better just to enjoy the here and now.

The little details.