SoftThistle Life

Not hiding under a rock

Autism, LifeMarylin2 Comments

Another good day at nursery with max, though he was v upset when I got there as he didn't want to leave the Lego! 10 min after he's home and he's chilling out watching fireman sam <3Whenever this blog garners attention (in this case I'm a finalist (!!!!) in the MAD Blog Awards' Family Life category... go vote, for me if you like... pretty please?) I have this tendency to want to do anything but blog.

So I don't.

And all you get is a photo every week.

Way to be a Good Blogger, Marylin!

*looks sarcastically at herself*

So I figured I'd put a wee note out there to address my lack of blogging regularity.

Or at least mention it.

Maybe by acknowledging this I can start writing regularly again?

Because it's really *not* that I don't want to.

But my muse seems to strike at the most stupid times.

Or, even worse - my "meh, I'll do it later... MOAR NETFLIX!" reflex kicks in and, well, there goes the evening!

Before I know it it'll be gone midnight and I need my bed.

Honestly, I'm my own worst enemy at times!

Though now that Max has been sleeping through most nights since Feb 2nd (I've totally jinxed tonight now haven't I?), it's starting to get easier to get up in the mornings.

Over the last 5 days or so, I've noticed that both Max and I have much more energy.

Max is coming back to me.

The happy, contented, cheeky adorably huggable little man who's got a kick ass sense of humour and is so much fun to be around.

He's back. He's finally caught up on sleep from the 6 months or so of only having between 4-5 hours a night, and it's awesome to see.

In fact, it's been me who's finding it harder to get into a decent sleep routine over the last few weeks.

At first I was still on such high alert that even though I'd go to bed at half ten exhausted, I couldn't sleep till past 2am constantly wondering if that creak or bump was him waking up. It's an old house, so these things happen here.

I think it's only been the last week that I've finally managed to let that go.

To be able to go to bed relaxed, rather than anxious.

And that's a Huge Thing.

Really huge!

So now that I can go to bed and not be freaking out with the diatribe of

was that him? It was. Or was it the cat. Stupid cat. Why did I get another one? I bet it wakes him up. Oh god I hope he doesn't wake up. OK, time to sleep. Sleep. Sle.. *thud* FUCK! *holds breath* *crosses all fingers* Please don't wake up please. I can't do another no sleep night. Don't let this all have been a random blip. what if it doesn't last? What if he starts waking up again and he's got so much energy he just DOESN'T SLEEP for days?? OK, breathe Marylin. Breathe deeply. Breathe

I can actually get to sleep ok without having to take anything to help make me sleepy.

Now my only problem is that I'm a night owl at heart and so midnight seems early for me to be going to bed!

I know it's not when I'll be woken at 6am, but still. It's HARD!

Especially when 1-2am seems to be my most productive hour.

Not even remotely kidding there.

But I've been behaving and getting to bed before midnight during the week, and it's starting to work.

So in short:

I'm not hiding under a rock, but I do have a tendency to back away when hit with the prospect of the MADs! I'm sure it happened back in 2011 too!

Max really actually genuinely is sleeping through properly now... OMGIAMSOHAPPYABOUTTHIS!!

And I'm being an idiot when it comes to getting enough sleep because I'm a night owl and want to do ALL THE THINGS.

Also? Total random aside, but holy crap Hollyoaks! What a storyline for Brendan!

Yeah ok, I'm done now.

Laters!