SoftThistle Life

It's a Long Road Ahead...

Autism, LifeMarylin23 Comments

Phew, Max had his first session with Barbara, our preschool home-visitor this afternoon.
She brought along a pink bag full of toys and would bring one out at a time for him to play with her with for a while. Boy did he NOT like doing things her way! Although by the end of the hour he had figured out to give her the pecs card to get something from her.

He screamed. A LOT.

Pretty much the whole time he was Not! Happy! One! Bit!

It's good that she saw him like that, but I found it so hard to see him that way.

To realise that yes, he has a problem, and it's going to be a long journey to get him to learn how to do things in our world instead of how he likes them in his own.

By the time she left he was shattered.

It was nap time.

He went down without a fuss.

I think he was just relieved to have some alone time after being 'forced' into doing things differently than how he's used to.

I don't have the patience to be able to let him cry it out.

It's not like he does it to get something.

He's not your regular toddler like Zack was. I could always out-wait Zack with his tantrums.

Not Max.

Max will keep screaming for over an hour before calming down.

He's a hard lil guy to deal with sometimes.

He can also be such a joy to have around too.

This weekend he called me Mummy properly for the first time in his 2 years 7 months.

AND... to top that he gave me his first proper kiss too! Puckered up little lips and everything!

So, it's not all bad all the time.

But we need to start doing more of the things he doesn't like doing to get him used to it.

And I really don't like the thought of that one bit.

I will do it, and I will pretend that I am enjoying it all for him.

But really my heart will be being torn out of my chest every time he screams because he doesn't understand what's going on.

My head is dizzy from everything I'm having to take in with this whole situation.

This life long learning curve.

Today was one of the first steps.

It's gotta be onwards and upwards right?

Even if it does take a long time to get there.

There's got to be a light at the end of the tunnel.