So damn quickly, little man?
I can't believe my baby boy is 5 years old already.
I guess it's more unbelievable in some ways because you're still a lot younger in the way you are than your average 5 year old would be.
You're non verbal, still need a buggy regularly (more for comfort than anything else. It's your safe place), and can't sleep through the night.
But then you are an amazing little guy, so you are.
The way you've finally started, this summer, to seek me out for comfort if you're upset.
No more pushing me away while crying and screaming if you've hurt yourself or had a fright.
Oh no! Now you come up to me, arms outstretched, desperate for me to lift you up and cuddle you to help you feel better.
That's progress, my little friend. That's progress.
I had a bit of a wobble earlier today.
Thinking about when I first held you in my arms.
Realising just how different life turned out from what I expected after having you.
That your life really isn't what I had hoped it would be.
But it's something different, not bad.
And that was what I needed reminded of today.
You may not have realised it was your birthday, but that meant I was able to hide your pressies until our family came over to celebrate, which was all kinds of awesome!
You absolutely adore your castle, knights and horses set, and you've been playing on it all day!
Pretending that the knights are fighting and climbing up the ladders to get inside.
Using the catapult and giggling away.
And your face when you saw your cake.
The sheer excitement of knowing that you would get to blow out candles!
Oh I wish I could have recorded that instead of carrying the cake through.
It's moments like these that make everything worthwhile.
And you are so, SO loved.
You always have been and you always will be.
I love you my little man.
Mummy will always be there to cuddle you when you need her.