SoftThistle Life

Fecking Five Year Olds... ARGH!

LifeMarylin30 Comments

Dear Zack,

This is your Mum talking.

You know, the person who's taken care of you since you were a single celled zygote in utero?

The one who DIDN'T abandon you like your father did.

The one who makes sure that you are fed, clean (well, as clean as you can get anyway, you dirty wee bugger!).

The one who gets you toys for your birthday, and makes sure Santa gets you what you ask for at Christmas.

The one you SHOULD listen to and not disrespect any chance you get.

The one who, when she asks you do do something, you should just do it. No questions asked.

The one who, when she tells you NOT to do something, you should listen to her and NOT do it, instead of carrying on doing whatever it was that she told you not to. Like pushing your brother, or running in the hallway (yeah, you're howling now cause you slipped as you were wearing socks. Me? I know you didn't hurt yourself badly, so I don't really give a sh!t. It was your own damn fault), or jumping on my bed for the thousandth time even though I told you not to.

I don't know if it's since you became a Big Boy when you turned five 2 weeks ago, but you seem to have got a newfound love to piss me off, and you know what?

If you don't start doing as your told I will take that Wii and give it to a family who deserves it.

I will sell your DS.

I may even send you to your father to stay there full time. See how you like it when you're there for more than a few days and you don't get constant attention.

(OK, I won't send you to your father's, instead, just to spite you, I may insist that you have to stay at home with us while Max goes up and gets lots of attention from his Up North family and you are stuck here, with no Wii, no DS, and no friends over to play.)

(OK I won't really stop you from going to your father's, mainly because I CANNOT WAIT to get some time away from you.)

I love you so so much Zack, and I get that you're bored at the moment.

You're over half way through the summer holidays now, it's been raining for most of it.

You're fed up.

I get it.

But that doesn't give you the right to try to walk all over Dean or I, OR your little brother, because none of us deserve that.

We do everything we can to make sure you are happy. It just doesn't seem to be enough at the moment.

So, my devil darling Zack, please feel free to keep it up to a maximum until you come back from visiting your father, just so he knows how much of a lil git you can be, but as soon as you come back home? Please revert to the boy I know and love.

Please?

Oh well, at least you only have 13 more days at home till you start school.

You're most definitely needing it.

I'm most definitely needing it.

Your teacher? Well, I hope she's ready for you!

Love,

Mummy (sorry, forgot Mummy is for babies now...) xx