SoftThistle Life

Famous last words, and feeling supported.

AutismMarylin10 Comments


It’s really rather lovely to just be dealing with regular parenting problems these days, instead of how it used to be! - posted on Nov 22nd.

Ah I had to jinx myself, didn't I?

Since I last blogged two weeks ago, things haven't been quite back to normal around here.

Max's sleeping was out of whack on and off and still is (last night it was 2am), he's been quite grumpy on and off partly as a result of that, and partly because I'm now at the point where I feel confident enough to not let him away with as much, meaning he's being told off, youtube has been blocked on all out devices, and he's NOT getting his own way all the time, which has had a bit of a knock on effect at school.

And I've had migraines on and off (mostly on) for the last 2 weeks, had an icky stomach bug (oh god I'd forgotten just how horrible nausea is... I am *never* doing pregnancy again fyi!), and managed to hurt my neck when I stopped myself falling down the stairs.

It can only go UP from here, right?

On the other hand, my little man came up to me last week and said/signed "love you" to me completely unprompted.

I cried!

He's also trying to talk a *lot* more, and singing along to Christmas carols seems to be going down a treat.

And after a Very Screamy Monday, he seems to have accepted now that he can't get away with throwing/hitting/screaming without being told off.

It was always going to plateau, this fantastic progress he's been doing - I'm just amazed it's lasted so long before running into a wee bump in the road!

And despite it sounding like things aren't going so well here at Chez Softthistle, I'm handling it quite well.

Yes there are moments when I vent on twitter (there's only so much screaming one person can handle on a monday!), but there are people there who have given me strength by sending their love and understanding.

My dear friends have been helping me out when they can (thank you Tammyyy!!), and my parents have been a solid support for me as they always are.

And today something happened that I was really not expecting!

Last week on Friday I was asked by a teacher if I could pop into the head's office for a chat.

Alarm bells are ringing - oh god, it's because of his behaviour, it's Zack acting out, no, wait... how many days off did they have over the last few days?? You can imagine - when the head asks for a chat, it's never going to be a good thing, is it?

We kept missing each other until today.

Here we go, I was thinking. Must stay calm.

And it turns out I needn't have worried.

We sat down and I asked what was wrong.

Nothing, she said, she just wanted to check how I was doing as the staff had noticed that I'd not been my usual cheery self the last couple of weeks, and with Max's behaviour having been off, she was worried I might be feeling overwhelmed.

I'm paraphrasing of course (I wish I had a better memory!), but the basics of the conversation were that Max is such a different boy these days, we want to make sure he keeps taking steps in the right direction, and we want to make sure that you are feeling supported.

I almost cried, I was so shocked!

I explained about the migraines and the hiccups with his sleep after he'd been unwell, that I'd already emailed our (ex) sleep counselor for tips, and have started a sleep diary again.

I have never felt *so* supported as I do right now.

I know that there are many places where kids and parents alike don't get the right sort of help and support, especially those in our position, but there are some out there who do, and we're lucky enough to be in a place that does it right.

I know the reasoning behind each of the 5-6 sleepless nights over the last couple of weeks, and that makes a huge difference, and the last couple of days have shown a marked improvement in my wee man's behaviour. So hopefully that gradual incline will keep coming and we're back on the up.

Either way, I know that I have the people and the tools to make sure that we are able to get the right help, advice and support that we need. And I'm actually using them.

Now excuse me while I go for an early night... I have a new mattress to try out! ;)