Yes, this is TMI, and probably more aimed at the girls… if you don’t like the sound of it, bugger off and come back when I’m more placid. 
Well, it’s true isn’t it? You go out with a guy, get to know them, enjoy spending time with them, and finally get to that moment when things to a little further than you expected, but you just can’t help yourself. Hell, we’re all allowed to have some fun if we want, right?
But then comes the next time you meet, and you can just tell that they’re expecting the same again. And again. Oh, and AGAIN after that. No chance of just snuggling up on the sofa… as soon as you start kissing, it has to lead to something else. You’ve set the standard, now you have to keep it.
Now I’m all for enjoying myself, I’m not afraid to admit that I thoroughly enjoy sex. Just not all the time. I may be single and want to have fun, but I’m also a mother of two young kids. I need my sleep. I need some time to just cuddle up and know that I’m not expected to do anything else. I hated that guilt of not doing enough when I was with TF – it drove me nuts. I refuse to be like that again, but how the hell do I manage that?
No really… I’m asking you. Is it even possible? If I’m not in the mood it’s easier to just do it anyway to keep the other person happy, when I’d probably rather have some time putzing about on my Mac, or watching tv. I can’t be the only one who gets into this predicament.
Maybe I should just stay celibate for the rest of my life…
You’re right, not a chance in hell of that happening.
Damn, I’m fucked.
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
In my opinion?
If you’re not in the mood, YOU’RE NOT IN THE MOOD. Just because the other person wants it doesn’t ever mean you need to give in just to make them happy. Hello! It’s about you too!
Yeah, I know… I just end up feeling guilty if I don’t do it, like I’ve lead them on to a certain point and then I feel bad for *not*, you know?
But you’re right, of course, so I guess I need to stop feeling guilty? That’s easier said than done though…
Watch Sex in the City lol has all these answers!
Kris (Everain)´s last blog ..I have a plan!
Actually I was thinking about that show when I was writing this! Watch out Carrie… there’s a new kid in town. Eh, sort of!
Twitter: SleeplessNights
October 28, 2009 at 12:00 am
God, I know how you feel!
Veronica´s last blog ..Sick and Tired
It’s such a pain in the arse isn’t it? Bloody men! >_<
Um… if your not in the mood say so.
Brad´s last blog ..Excuse me while I lose my mind
*salutes* yessir!
if ya dont want sex hun.. ya dont want it..
and they have to get over it.
your entitled to do what you want..
right?
Right. I know that’s the case, but I end up feeling guilty about it – which is the bit that sucks the most. >_<
Oh, hun i know exactly what u mean. My ex-bf was always up to it and i wasn’t…still i did it everytime when i got my “it” up to it ^^
We gays have same problems >.<
Men eh?
Twitter: snarksnladders
October 28, 2009 at 9:05 am
I hate it that there is always this expectation to have sex once you start snuggling. I know that most every guy will say ‘Well, if you aren’t in the mood it’s fine’, but then they pull that pouty crap. You know.
*snuggle*
*grope*
then you kinda pull away and snuggle again, and they do the whole “OH, not in the mood…. hmmmph”
GROWL.
Angela´s last blog ..Comment on Dear Ungrateful Students, by Softi
Growl indeed!
It’s a pain that one isn’t it? I think the only thing to do is be upfront and say “sorry, don’t fancy it tonight”. Or, only agree to see him when YOU want sex!
cough welldonelove cough
Barbara´s last blog ..Prepared
Hmm, thing is I prefer the company/snuggling etc to sex… which is where the problem pops up. Damn men! >_<
Eh. I almost wonder if it’s related to empathy or time spent getting to know someone or something… I mean, neither Sara nor I ever explicitly *say* anything to each other, but I can tell pretty easily when she’s in the mood, and when cuddling is just cuddling, and I don’t push the issue. Of course, I’ve also had 4 years now to figure it out, sooo…
Stop´s last blog ..Plans; or, suck it, pirates
That’s the thing – it’s all good if you know each other well, but when you’re just starting out it’s a whole different ball game.