How Do You Say Goodbye?

Today I had the worst news.

One of my oldest friends, someone who’s been there through thick and thin, passed away today.

She was 28.

I remember first meeting her when the girl who lived in the room next to me in halls at first year of uni introduced me.

She was one of those people who just looked inherently cool.

She had her own style, kind of like a combo of skater chick and emo-chic, but that just doesn’t even come close.

She was Awesome.

It didn’t take long to realise that we were actually in most of the same classes for lectures.

It also didn’t take long to realise that we got on really well. Just clicked if you will.

We would go to the pub for lunch, have a pint of water and sit there chatting and eating our lunch.

We would go out clubbing on a weds and thurs as they were the cheap nights.

She’d dance what could only be described as her own style of dancing, complete with lil jumps in the air.

We’d talk about our courses, who we fancied or were with at the time, whether God existed, what was the deal with Freud and his beliefs. You name it, we’ve spoken about it.

I remember the first time she came to visit after Zack was born. He was about 8 days old, and I needed to go get his milk, so I handed him to her. She held him at arms length and had that “what do I do, I think I might hurt him!” kind of look on her face, but I knew… knew he was safe with her. She was the first person who wasn’t family to ever hold him.

Fast forward a few years and both the boys would light up when they saw her come through the door. Even when Max was going through his “everyone scares me so I’m going to scream till they leave” phase, she could hold him and he wouldn’t bat an eyelid.

She came over to my house the day after she found out that I’d split from the boys’ dad, cooked us a pasta bake and helped me get the boys to bed. We stayed up chatting till about 3am talking.

She would watch the boys for me when I had the chance to go to the cinema, or even just so I could have an evening through the wall at my friend’s house.

She met Dean and they got on instantly. He said she had a “class taste in music”. I knew they’d get on, Jenny knows the good ones from the bad.

We talked about how we’d have barbeques this summer at my new house out on the deck.

Today we had our first barbeque here.

Today one of my best friends in the whole world passed from this world into whatever lies beyond.

No one knew it was coming. It was a complete shock.

I keep expecting her to call up and say it was a prank, or a huge mistake.

I wish she would.

Love you loads Jenny. Rest in peace sweetheart. I will always remember you and your awesome self. You are going to be so so missed. xxx