Monday was the start of the February break for my two. We braved the train to take them up to their dad's for a few days. I can't complain - Max had woken at about 3am that morning, so he was knackered enough to sleep most of the journey, and Zack was a star. As always!

Max has this thing about train stations, though. He hates them. He wants to be *on* the train, but not waiting for it, and definitely not getting off of it! 

Needless to say his dad and nan heard him well before they saw him!

Tuesday meant a jaunt to Hobbycraft with my mum and dad. Well, Dad was the chauffeur, among other things, while Mum and I got to ooh and ahh at everything around the place! I've never been in such a large place dedicated to art and crafting - it was bliss!

Wednesday saw a completely lazy day for me. I woke up of my own accord, at around half 9, and stayed in bed reading for an hour. Enjoyed a gorgeous lonnnnng shower, without the accompaning interruptions that usually occur when Zack ABSOLUTELY MUST tell me something STRAIGHT AWAY and open the door to the bathroom which lets all the heat out and freezes me. So that was just lovely! 

By Thurday I was looking forward to picking up my boys. 

It turns out that now they're sleeping well? It's a lot easier to be able to deal with them, even if one of us is having an off day!

It was an absolutely gorgeous day, and matched my mood! :)

Friday was a staying in day, as the boys (namely Max) were recovering from their much enjoyed (by Zack, at least!) trip "Up North", as we call it. 

Plus I had a tesco delivery due in the afternoon!

So I did some more doodling. Lettering. Letter... doodling? Either way, I'm loving Joanne Sharpe's Letter Love course, and have just started Rhomany's Whimsical Words course too. Yay! 

Ahhh the Saturday morning lie in... I've almost forgotten what it's like to have one that's uninterrupted. 

Mind you, they'd set up the netbook with some games that Max was giggling at while Zack played, so it wasn't too bad!

Oh! And I almost forgot last Sunday's photo:

My lil Rocky Cat likes to sleep on my head. No idea why! 

It's a rubbish photo, technically, but it may end up being the last photo I have of my not-so-wee friend, as he's been missing since Thursday night. 

SO unlike him. He's always - and I mean *always* - at the back door, first thing, mewing to get in, desperate to get fed. I can never get anything done until he's fed, as he'll do his damnest to trip me up and get in my way!

The fact that he's been away two mornings now is, really quite worrying. 

Here's hoping the wee bugger's just gone walkabout, or befriended a little old lady who's feeding him up and not the worst-case-scenarios that are going through my head. 

Way to end on a high note, eh? ;) 

Because I've been full of this stupid fluey-cold-thing and Max has been off all week with the same.

Oh, and it's minus the one that only went on instagram on Jan 31st, which I can't be bothered trying to find right now...

Zack is obsessed with Bumpeez right now... however they seem to now be sold out everywhere in Crieff! So we're back to him getting a magazine at the weekend if he's been good (i.e. got smiley faces monday-friday on our calendar).

The view I both love, hate, and cower at: 

Love it when I'm sleepy and I get to go to my bed.

Hate it when I'm enjoying a late one and know I *have* to go to bed.

Cower at when I stand stock-still, to listen out and see if Max is really asleep.

There's a story behind this... 

So this fluey cold I've had for TWO weeks now seems to have its perks. Namely I can't seem to stop myself from cleaning. 

I even cleaned my window... inside AND out. 

So I could take photos of the birds that like to lunch here.

Do you have ANY idea how bloody difficult it is to take a decent photo of these damn birds?? 

Seriously. 

I've given up now. 

Still, I got two cute photos.

And my window is now clean...

I've been finding Max here more and more lately... seems that this is one of his favourite places to get some peace and quiet to watch his iPad movies in peace...

Of course, when his big brother is around, that peace and quiet is rare to come by! Zack insisted on joining in... and who am I to say no, eh? 

So! That's been our week in pictures. 

I've even managed to... 

get on top of the laundry pile!!!!! 

That NEVER happens!

So... what have you been up to this week? 

When I picked him up from nursery on Friday, Max had had a Very Bad Afternoon.

He wasn't himself and generally was looking very tired and not his usual happy wee self.

Cue the coldy/sinusy thing I've had this week (THANK you for that, Tammy!! And... possibly Zack. *cough*) being passed on to the wee man.

So Saturday was a relatively quiet one.

Zack went to taekwondo, I spent the entire time cleaning like a woman possessed.

God knows where it came from!

I am now on top of the laundry, and the fronts of the washing machine and dishwasher look wonderfully clean!

Ok, honestly, Sunday was an even quieter day.

I figured out that my netbook wasn't broken, it's just that someone (I'm blaming Max, here) had switched the "wireless" button to off.

So once I'd realised that, I left Zack to play on Kizi, Max pottered in and out of the kitchen and living room with his precious iPad.

Asking "I wohhh" and pointing to milk, crisps, biscuits... peanut butter.

And occasionally just coming over to climb up on my lap and have a snuggle.

He's been pretty quiet over the weekend, taking himself up to bed, and a snot-fest had gathered by Sunday night.

So it was off nursery today.

Again with the barely noticing his existence in the morning, as he wanted to just stay in my bed with the iPad, youtube videos of Mortal Kombat (urgh), and his blankie.

After a snooze though... he's *much* chirpier.

Can't quite say the same for me, mind. Yay for sudafed... just sayin'.

Also? 

When did my Zack grow to be such a BOY??? Not a wee lad anymore... you should have seen the photo of him with the hoodie up. 

*sobs* 

Still, he comes over for cuddles a lot too. ;)

I mean, really, I guess I'm the only one who can answer that, and right now, I'm not so sure I know the answer.

I love my inspirational quotes, goodness knows if you follow me on Pinterest, you'll see just how much! 

I'm always good at giving advice, but it seems I'm not so good at taking it at the moment.

"Your desire to change must be greater than your desire to stay the same." 

Therein lies the problem.

I want to change - to get fitter, oh how wonderful that would be!

To make a dent in the laundry would be a plan right now to be honest.

I don't have the drive, the inclination, the want or need to change. 

Things are coasting along pretty well for us at the moment, and it's been pretty nice to have things being boring and predictable. 

I forget till people remind me, that my life isn't necessarily the easiest. Single parent, two young boys, Max's autism, his lack of sleeping (which MIGHT be getting better... he's slept all night through for A WHOLE WEEK NOW!!! That's me jinxed myself now, of course), not getting a chance to slack off and have someone take over.

I still do slack off though, it's just, that ends up meaning I get behind, simply *because* there's no one there to pick up where I left off.

And then, I don't really know how life is going to go. Particularly with Max. 

He's attempting to talk, when prompted, most of the time. 

However his speech is still very limited. 

Probably that of around a one year old. 

Someone who's just starting to learn how to say a few words here and there.

But he doesn't have the *need* to communicate with me in the way most children do with their parents.

Still, he's getting there. My beautiful boy.

I have no idea how much he's going to need me though, as life goes on. You know?

So.

Am I selfish to want to spend my evenings playing games, or watching tv, and generally not doing things to "better" myself with? 

I know the answer is really no. 

But I still feel guilty when I do something I enjoy, instead of something productive.

I should be learning something, bettering myself, doing some blasted housework. 

GETTING ORGANISED, basically. 

Which is something I am truly and utterly hopeless at.

Maybe it's time I looked for a PA... 

any takers?

I really don't know why I always resist going to see you every night.

I love you once I'm with you!

If you were a holiday destination, you'd be my favourite!

I love you bed...

See you tonight, ok?  

So last night, once the boys were tucked up in bed? That's exactly what I did! 

I spent my entire evening immersed in a story about dragons and people with magical powers who were oppressed and need me to help them.

In other words...

I gamed my little heart out! (Dragon Age 2, if you're interested!)

It was great fun. 

I think it's something I may need to do once a week. 

I don't often spend long on games, though I love to play them. 

There's too much else to be done! 

I took the above photo last night, just before going to bed.

And this one was taken while typing this out...

This would be my now broken (and replaced... dear god, me not having a keyboard is like having my arms cut off!!) keyboard, with the culprit. 

The little bugger saw Zack's milk this morning and decided that the best way to have a drink would be to knock it all over the damned keyboard. 

I didn't realise this until about 3 hours later, when I attempted to log into my mac and got something along the lines of "asdlisudfvbnsdmf -[w90845290whnef vksj h" instead of an 8 character password. 

Goddamn cat!

Seriously? 

Max... you're looking more and more like Zack every day.

WHERE did your gorgeous big squishy cheeks go? 

How do they just disappear?!

You look like a Proper Boy now, rather than a little one. 

There's no more pretending that you're still only little.

Even though you still are on the inside.

How on earth did we manage to get to you being nearly FIVE already?

OK, so it's not nearly, it's not till October.

Still... you're going to be five. THIS YEAR!

You're just going to have to stop it. 

Right now.

You're not allowed to grow anymore.

And you can tell your feet to stop getting sweaty.

I miss having little cutsey feet to nibble on, goddamnit!

*sobs*

Really though, 

you're so adorably cute these days, what with your proper little personality finally coming out.

You're a joker, that's for sure!

Like the funny moves you make when I'm attempting to dance to tunes from my xbox games...

or you finding it absolutely HILARIOUS that I managed to spill nearly a full cup of milk all over myself.

Honestly - was it *really* that funny?! (ok, it was... I laughed too... but your belly laugh? Made me laugh more!)

And last week, when you just! couldn't! go! on! and dramatically crawled.... up.... the.... stairs.... and proceeded to climb.... into.... bed.... the wrong way around and flop face-first into bed.

All the while with a twinkle in your eye, and that little cheeky grin.

You knew *exactly* what you were doing!

Actually... you know what?

If you keep coming out with gems like those?

You can keep growing.

Just not so fast, damnit!! 

it's about the journey you create with them that makes them art.

That's life really, isn't it? 

It's not about the destination, or the first step, but the path you take, the wrong turns, the right ones, the short cuts that end up taking you somewhere completely different.

They're what make you who you are. 

Even the mistakes.

Especially the mistakes.

How else can you possibly learn anything if you never make any mistakes?

It's all about the journey... 

Hope your's is a good one this weekend! 

My mum got me this gorgeous wee box for Christmas.

I saw it in the window of my absolute favourite little shop, and squee'd at it. 

I never really needed boxes for anything till I started wearing jewelery again.

You see, when I had post natal depression, I kind of lost myself for a while.

And I lost that interest in taking care of anything that was mine. 

Or even keeping a hold of them.

That included some of the most gorgeous bracelets, earrings and pendants. 

Some that my Gran made.

Things I'll never be able to get back. 

So now that I'm back on my even keel, steady and generally more myself than I've been since pre-kids, I've gone back to wanting to wear pretty things. 

To indulge myself once in a while to something fanciful. 

Like a gorgeous bracelet,

or a cute wee ring.

Because it turns out I really *am* worth it. 

Just like you. 

Who knew, eh?