Max hasn’t worn shorts since the summer of 2011, and then it was only grudgingly, and for very short periods of time.

So this morning, as it’s so warm out today (and I couldn’t find any clean trousers that fit him *cough*), I figured it was about time to try the shorts again.

We have 3 pairs lying around, from last year when he point blank refused to even let me near him with them, so out they were fished from the bottom drawer, it was Go Time.

As soon as he saw them, he started crying. Saying “No! No no no NO!”, but by this point, it’s habit for him to shun anything he’s not used to, so I persevered. (That’s a Thing now, being able to persevere. I’d forgotten what it was like to have the energy to do it!)

He wasn’t happy, but let me put them on him, and stood sort of resigned, doing his grumbly cry, and was Not Happy with having to wear the shorts.

We got to nursery, and he was ok (we’re WALKING to and from nursery again finally, go Max!), but got upset the longer we had to wait.

Bad Mummy got the timing wrong and we were 5 minutes early… whoops!

By the time we were able to go in, he was in a full blown meltdown, but the staff were wonderful and knew exactly what to do. As always!

And by the time I picked him up 2.5 hours later?

I had my happy boy back.

And he’s sitting on the sofa next to me now, with his sticker book resting on his (bare!!) legs, wearing his shorts, and being adorably snuggly all at once.

You’re getting there, little man!

You’re doing SO well.

Mummy’s proud of you!

And giving herself a wee pat on the back too.

As we were walking home from nursery today, something clicked with me.

I have this feeling that you are going to be a-okay little man.

You’re so bright, and you’re starting to try to be much more verbal lately.

You’re absolutely hilarious with your joking around, and are becoming a pretty sociable little guy.

You see the world in a very different way to most of us.

And I know it’s hard for you to take sometimes, but you’re doing so well at learning how to handle new situations, at meeting new people, at coping with life in general.

We still have tough bits of course.

You still hate the word no, and don’t like to not get what you want, but I figure, in some ways you’re kind of going through the terrible twos at the moment, so I know that’ll pass.

Did I mention how smart you are??

Cause you really are.

And for the first time, in a long time, I’m starting to have hope that you may be able to lead a pretty good life as you get older.

I know, it sounds kind of weird saying it that way, but for so long you were so exhausted and in hate with everything, I didn’t know how you’d deal with the big wide world.

Now I’m starting to see that, you know what? You’re going to be just fine.

And that, my little man, is a very good feeling to have.

Love you lil dude!

Over the last few months, life has started to become easier here in the Softthistle household.

Max is sleeping through, and is able to use his visuals to request things, meaning he’s a happy, calm little guy who’s coping really well with life once more.

Zack is able to *play* with his little brother finally, and is really coming into his own these days. Wanting to be more independent, reading Proper Books and enjoying school as well as now starting to actively want to do chores around the house.

As for me?

I can breathe again.

With the end of the sleepless nights (mostly!) has come the emergence of *me* again.

Something I hadn’t really been in a while.

I’m going to bed before midnight, and not getting woken until around 7am.

I’m drinking mostly water and am feeling the benefits.

Turns out that drinking all that coke was giving me headaches, and making me plunge into a sugar-coma every afternoon.

I have this thing called energy again.

Oh how I missed that feeling!

I’m able to get up in the mornings happily rather than being desperate to stay in bed just that bit longer.

My home is becoming tidier on a regular basis again, instead of just when I had the energy to clean.

I’m enjoying my evenings to myself again, instead of asking friends to come over to keep me company. (she says while sat opposite her girl @jenxon with Oprah on in the background)

I have the energy to play with the kids and go out and I’ve even started to pick up my big girls camera again.

This is definitely a time for new beginnings, and we are making the most of it!

I took out my camera for the first time since Christmas.

How do I know it was Christmas?

That would be the photos of the boys opening their presents that were still on the memory card!

So I thought I’d see what Max thought of a little photo shoot.

Turns out he loves being in front of the camera!

No idea where he’d get such an attention grabbing personality *at* all.

*cough*

So this is my wee little boy, growing up.

Doing silly things on purpose to be funny, giggling away and signing “funny” when I ask him what he is!

Things like messing my hair up, or coming up to me to give me a cuddle or kiss, before running away at the last moment with that cheeky smile and dancing eyes.

Posing for the camera and doing silly wee stunts while giggling away.

And starting to call me “Ummy”.

*insert big gooey eyed grin here*

I mean really, how gorgeous is he, amiright?

You know when you just want to write and write to your heart’s content?

That feeling like you have so much to give, so much to get out of your head, that you can’t wait to sit down and finally be able to get it all out?

That’s how I’ve been feeling lately.

*looks around*

I know, it doesn’t seem that way from the State of the Blog, does it?

That’s because when I actually do sit down to write, I have no idea how to start.

I have no idea what I want to write.

I just have this complete mental block.

And I don’t even know where to begin!

I don’t even know *what* it is that I want to write about, I just know that I need to.

I have the urge to type, and to write, to fill pages and pages of my various journals, but I don’t actually sit down to do it.

Even during those times when I do have the time to sit and write, I don’t.

I faff around on facebook, twitter, catching up on blog reading and watching tv or movies.

I’ll do anything *but* sit down to write.

It’s so frustrating, this feeling of so desperately *wanting* to write, but not being able to get anything out.

I have so many half-ideas swirling around in my head.

I *know* I can write well.

I just can’t seem to put anything I think into the right words, so I don’t even bother.

So yeah, I’m a bit frustrated at the moment.

A bit frustrated that I can’t get out these amazing half-ideas that I know I have in me, waiting to get out.

But I know it’ll pass.

Hopefully once the boys are back in school this wee brain of mine will get back into gear and let me write.

—-

On the upside, Max and Zack had a BATH together this evening! For the first time ever!

My two boys, playing in the bath together for almost half an hour!

I think I can safely say he’s progressing really well compared to at the beginning of the year!

So I’ll celebrate that and just let things be for now on the writing front.

And hopefully that mojo will be back sooner rather than later!

Though in saying that, I’m still writing more than I have for a while, so that’s a definite plus!

We’re all getting there, in our wee family.

All in our different ways.

Moving onwards and upwards!

Lets hope it keeps going that way!

In a similar vein to last week’s post (oh hello! Yeah I’m great at this blogging regularly thing… NOT!), I’m in awe of the fact that we’re at the end of the Easter holidays already.

I’m relieved as it means back to normality, back to the usual routine, and that’s good for Max, and Zack who gets bored after a certain amount of time home. He keeps coming up to me to ask “I don’t know what to do now, Mum”. It seems minecraft isn’t as fun when you play it every day. Well… ish. He still loves the bloody game!

I’m also sad that our relaxed and somewhat lazy days (pj days ROCK!) are finished for another few months. My boys and I have enjoyed snuggling in bed till 9am, lots of giggling and tickles and general playfulness.

Max has come into his own a lot over the last week.

He’s got some sense of humour – he understands what funny is, and is constantly trying to do things that he knows will make us laugh!

Like the other morning, when he came into my room and I’d stashed my iPhone somewhere so he couldn’t get it.

He knew exactly what I’d done, so he proceeded to come into bed for what I thought were cuddles.

Oh no – he was going to use me as a climbing-tickle-frame while shrieking with laughter at every “ooft” that came out of my mouth until I gave in and gave him it.

Which, of course, I did after about an hour.

What can I say? He’s FUN to be around now that he’s well slept!

And story time!

Oh how I adore story time at the end of the day!

Max has me on one side of him, and Zack on the other.

Zack and I take turns to read the books (usually The Gruffalo, Room on the Broom, and others similar… we love the rhyming!), usually vying for the next paragraph, and Max giggles at us being silly.

By the end, he’s yawning his wee head off, and is ready for bed.

I love that.

I love that Max is at the point now where he’s genuinely FUN to be around.

He’s at that stage now that I adore, and I am damn well making the most of it!

So it’s definitely a bittersweet end to the holidays.

On the one hand, I know it’s just what we all need to get our butts in gear, not to mention getting my own sleep cycle back to normal!

(when we’re on holiday-time my head won’t switch off till about 3am… the night owl in me likes to actually be allowed out to play!)

On the other, I’m going to miss getting to snuggle with my boys in my bed in the morning and not have to clock-watch the whole time.

Mind you, that’s what weekends are for, right?

How on earth is it April already??

APRIL.

ALREADY.

Really??

Here’s a wee collage of photos from the first three months of the year.

And we’re only *just* getting Spring now…

The seasons seem to be getting more confused as the years go on!

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!